II: The rest of Open Doom Crescendo

Whoever might be reading this at whatever time—I do hope it’s when it’s the quietest and loneliest for you. Not cause I pettily like the image of you being lonely and reading my lonely words as if your mutual suffering is my only source of solace, it’s not that at all. What I’m getting atContinue reading “II: The rest of Open Doom Crescendo”

I: Vessel / Wraith

Gratitude-claimer: I directly Thank You Sammy, Helene, Emily [Tong], Leonardo, Ryan, Matias, Dan for responding to the last publishing; I never not notice or take it for granted. That said, at the time of putting it up I was feeling the most futility-resignation to being a nobody posting nowhere to no one, so it matteredContinue reading “I: Vessel / Wraith”

There’s a garden at the back: I + II

Automated android disclaimer: Hello, to understand Earth’s Core-esque Existentialism I have appropriately mastered the english language. These are the collected writings of someone who clearly takes crazy pills, and regardless how self-aware or radical at wordplay they may be, they write for no reason other than to self-scrutinize and reflect self-critically their place amongst people,Continue reading “There’s a garden at the back: I + II”

6 years 2 months ago 2 weeks ago: Coda II

On behalf of this whole recent delirium-spree, I’ll try grenade-compressing this publishing as the pre-self-nuke. Spirit wraith—I’m just a 70% liquid vessel; you’ll soon have to do the work for both of us. I should’ve looked out for you more. Sorry. How could anything be salvaged when you’re already long gone. Past hearing out. AllContinue reading “6 years 2 months ago 2 weeks ago: Coda II”

No judgment

No calling myself out on everything I write in real-time. No considering others’ judgment No attention/comfort/reassurance/pity/sympathy-seeking This time I very much write this to myself I write and I let it sit I let who I am be This disclaimer may in case offer an even more compassionate canvas of honesty. If you actively wrestleContinue reading “No judgment”

Happy Dragon Boat Festival

I’m still mourning a suicide from 2015. If you feel even slightly guilty cause you long-concluded I’m a cold-hearted bastard, it’s all right. Whether it looks like I give a damn or not about my actions, I’ve always been dying inside. But I can still physiologically type so May 2019—days away from the first ODCContinue reading “Happy Dragon Boat Festival”

You won’t enjoy this if you even secretly discriminate against incoherence

The world’s gonna change. There’s nothing pretentiously romantic about that. If a scientist is somehow reading this then Yeah I Know the world has always been and continues to always change you fucking E.Q.-challenged genius-arrogass. Sorry. I made an assumption. I’m the ass. Still fuck you if you thought it. I’m gonna go ahead andContinue reading “You won’t enjoy this if you even secretly discriminate against incoherence”

5 years ago again

Matias I was gonna transmit the 5-second-food-fell-down rule to disproportionately justify a 5-days-after-the-birthday-to-remember rule but turns out this footage is 5 years ago today so yes I planned this against your anticipation! Cause of course I’m the one person you couldn’t live without getting a bday wish from. Aaah shit aight here’s 12m51s of youContinue reading “5 years ago again”

Soul stash

You’ll get something out of this if you generally…lack..stuff…on an at-least-not-snorting-cocaine-to-stay-conscious level. I’m holding singular things. I can’t actually touch them. I see them. I hear them. I can’t smell it, but I’d recognize it, whether I was ever there or not. Regardless I feel it all. I put it all in a place onlyContinue reading “Soul stash”