Day 21,909 of 30,000

Don’t make this a dispensable pandemic vacuum blog art. Being self-aware then doing nothing about it won’t count [e.g. hipsters, deadpool 2, lot of the government] unless you’re 22 jump street [this is still beautiful]


Another metaphor—the world had a seizure and it’s probably not long before it has another. That or a FPS character barely having time to reload before the next swarm of bad guys. Whatever your version of a post-apocalypse-adjusted lifestyle is; you may as well enjoy even that while it lasts. I’d start coming up with new insults for the cockroaches who are ushering the second wave of corona much cause they literally [and I don’t use that damn word millennial-lightly] will not keep their crotches inside their pants, but ice cube freaking out is weirdly soothing, also aforementioned cockroaches are at least killing some of their own population off, sounds foul?, like you have the time to come here and get your candy ass kicked while I wear full protective gear, you’re partying.

Kamed felt it in the air. As we walked across the market street to his van so I could borrow his leaf blower that I gave to him anyway, even the action of walking that far into my own neighborhood of residence was uncanny. And temporal. The streets are gonna be deserted again soon. Kamed hasn’t been wrong yet. And as much as good-hearted people like him remind me that things work out [when we put in the effort and give a crud], you got everyone else who actually somehow prefer it to suck. Cause… wearing a mask emasculates and being asked to think of others means being submissive? By the way, since no one seemed to make a thing of this, am I really the only one who saw the farcical irony of one of the montérégie pieces of shit who willingly unleashed an outbreak at a bar was wearing an obey shirt? Look it up, he’s standing in line like a fuckin termite with his fellow orgy insects. Actually no, let me help you with the link.

No wait I’m also gonna snapshot and display these cockroach pieces of shit.

Look at these termite pieces of shit

Congrats y’all you’re immortalized. Tell your cockroach kids of your legacy, whoever’s still alive. Right, I’m chill.

Sometimes I don’t think we get to entitle ourselves to thinking civilization’s any sadder than it was before 2020. This isn’t strictly anymore about the demographic who snowflake over free rights so they can throw an everyone-fucking-in-more-ways-than-one house party while kangaroo officials simply say to modern-day-murders like them “sstaaap…” until the damage is truly done and actual-contributing-members-of-society like teachers “goh. figur ih. owt” even after the damage is truly done. This…”end of the world” thing — The world was always ending. It’s just another version. Even this version more or less happened a century ago. The only reason I sometimes use the term is if I contort the english language any further I might as well phoneticize with sounds like fleh fooeh fueey. Though I prefer saying apocalypse, not just cause it occasionally makes me think of that shitty x-men movie where mr. ooz goes lleeeaaarnniiiinnnnnnggggggggg.

I’m not complaining when I say there’s a minor melancholy in my psyche about Demo and I making shooting work even with physical-distance-mask-wearing. 1. It’s always good to go with Demo, 2. I’ve as good as fulfilled Phil’s fantasies by puppeteering around 30 percent of this whole thing so with Demo we’re practically an army. It’s just slightly depressive when it feels sure that any week now it’ll be closer to 28 weeks later-the-other-way, and I doubt people will be as pretend-all-in-this-together on wave 2, cause the novelty has dissipated replacing nobleness with no-we’re-bored-ney. That said I’m not complaining since again I’m fortunate enough to not fear for my life when I take a shower cause I chose the wrong person to live with nor do I fear for my life for living in an april senior’s home. I also don’t miss much of anything about what I can’t do anymore. Helps to be misanthropic which sounds oxymoronical as an aspiring empath except the existential power cancels it out.

What I do miss—also the reason I’m writing—is going out for Mexican. I realized only last night driving back when they closed the highway caused it’s montreal and I had to town it the rest of the way. The mellow-lit streets of the east side ghetto will do it. I miss communicating ODC to someone over Mexican and efficiently getting through to them with my brooding empathetic composure rather than nonsensical paragraphs of run-on sentences on effin fb chat.

That’s it. That’s pretty much the only thing I realize I miss from earth pre-2020. And everyone’s got their own mileage, but I don’t got it in me to pay just to nostalgia-futilely attempt to replicate an experience that didn’t require any self-aware effort when it did work basically cause everyone wasn’t trying to not be poisoned and not by the food.

So until access to self-immunity arrives which guarantees me from exposure while anti-vaccers can go do whatever they do do and not drag everyone up with them to heaven-which-is-the-real-Hell, that’s not coming back. Maybe even after immunity it’s still gone, cause everyone’s gonna be too jaded-paranoia-distrustful of each other. I don’t know. I miss it but I don’t long for it like a tool. I miss it like I could miss a person who’s long gone. Except a person’s not a menu. Except I’m talking about you, not you if you’re reading and think I meant you, don’t be so conceited. Except I have too much self-agency and action-driven-action-movie-goals to be negatively affected by whatever naturally-temporal sense of loss. Except fuck you. Except be kind to one another. Except that’s ellen degeneres’ thing. Except you think she now realizes how that’s the most hilariously ironic saying she could’ve preached. Except I only know this cause it’s an inconsequential price I willingly pay to be on time for the weekday news if Amanda Kline’s anchoring.

All the while I know what’s worth staying alive for. You’re not at crescendo angst cinevision for overbearing positivity, so without crossing my own mileage it includes coming home to the parents watching hockey in late september, ODC, and Zack Snyder’s Justice League.

Discomfort reading

Digital golem obliging…
Digital Golem: It worked though we wish we wer

Digital golem obliging…
Digital Golem: It worked though we wish we wer


Published by crescendoangstcinevision

Licensed creative vandalism

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