Written to David Bowie’s “I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday”
A Lunar New Year’s greeting from your local hero nihilist:
Another year of heartwarmth and heartbreak await.
They await equally contradictorily.
They arrive with their tongues in each other’s mouths.
But I don’t know why it feels different this year.
No
No I do, to a degree
I go in ready to receive
Ready for the bias-confirming valleys and the scrutinized peaks.
The self-sabotage and the hypocritical altruism.
The happiness I martyr on behalf of others who did not ask for my self-servingness and the helplessness I selfishly absorb also for them.
And this catharsis I feel on the song’s 13th loop
It’s gonna slip away.
Just like it does every time
And just like every time I won’t know when I’ll get another come-and-go chance at this
This unconditional will to do my part in making the world a kinder more-together place.
…
But I go in generous.
I go in beyond myself.
I go in giving.
And so whatever loss comes my way I will welcome with open[-doom-crescendo] arms—riding the delirious optimism and resilience I see in those I unconditionally love, look up to, and place my faith in for a kinder more-together world.
Happy New Year.
OPEN DOOM CRESCENDO 