Nearing two months later and his demise feels like an already distant memory yet immediately accessible traumatic event, the latter of which I will indulge in therapeutically graphic detail so content warning. My close bonds had encouraged me to at once feel as sad as I needed, but also all the necessary resentment. So untilContinue reading “Dead Fathers & Outsider Art”
Author Archives: crescendoangstcinevision
To everyone
1 I shall first demonstrate how far I’ve come—exhibiting my last down-on-myself contemplation from sometime earlier last week. Skip to act 2 if you don’t like Sum 41. These feels (n.) don’t really leave. And they won’t really leave when you’ve gotten what your feels had you feeling for. But if it doesn’t get better,Continue reading “To everyone”
Post-Paradise Thank You
The goal was that when I’m in Montreal again it’s resumption of arrangements, but now with making the most out of the catharsis and optimism I’ve collected here in Toronto. And since I was in the midst of losing my fuckin mind when I was last there in 2018, I had to show up withContinue reading “Post-Paradise Thank You”
Obituary
I buried Dad early last week leading to the weekend megabus to Toronto, which is a relief cause I resented him enough that I didn’t need an extra thing to curse him over. There was already enough to navigate between the “fuck that guy” and the “he was still my dad and did at leastContinue reading “Obituary”
Paradise
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Big Fight in Little Chinatown [dir. Karen Cho]
UPDATE: Karen Cho is the first ever to capture a genuine smile out of me; that’s how much her documentary tour-de-force BIG FIGHT IN LITTLE CHINATOWN means to me. Now that it’s having its theatrical run, you have no excuse. I don’t care how “m’thso buzy” you are, how hot your date is and your fearContinue reading “Big Fight in Little Chinatown [dir. Karen Cho]”
Just wanting to be useful
To start, some optimistic updates: New report suggests going further to protect Montreal’s Chinatown *And now way less importantly to this brooding blog* I’m still trying to get better at self-kindness. Aren’t we all—us self-effacing non-narcissists? Am I doing it again? I’m still trying. Am I getting better at this? For the sake of theContinue reading “Just wanting to be useful”
Happy Anniversary
Listening to the cicadas. My association with them at some point became them as my lone consistent company—out there in the shrub fields and dilapidated real estate I call wastelands in fiction. It is yet not exaggerated from the truth, as these cicadas ring through my ears, a familiar shared death cry that they mayContinue reading “Happy Anniversary”
Dollar Cinema presents OPEN DOOM CRESCENDO
Dollar Cinema is closing at the end of the month. All these years they’ve given underprivileged communities, families especially, a space to foster memories around the communion of moviegoing. As it is for countless others–Jenny, Bernie, and the cinema have been there for us, from our creed to directly in our work’s DNA. So beforeContinue reading “Dollar Cinema presents OPEN DOOM CRESCENDO”
OPEN DOOM CRESCENDO [abridged/trailer/music video]
To the solstice This is not pre-masturbatory; it’s done and now the onus is on whoever has the gender-amorphous cojones to start projecting this. Bribe your friends-in-positions-of-cultural-influence. Trap them in a room and loop this on 5.1 surround speakers, cause that’s the movie’s mix. Release them when they’re a better person. Micro-change the world. OurContinue reading “OPEN DOOM CRESCENDO [abridged/trailer/music video]”
OPEN DOOM CRESCENDO 