Writing for a moment as the moderator on behalf of the crescendo angst cinevision
culmovement, though nothing here reflects the explicit opinions of any of its members so if I say something that offends pretend-vegetarians, then uh yeah, right here people.
If you’ve been on the flaming bullet train since the dying days of the dvd, then you clearly have a non-bribed reason to keep showing up even if it’s quietly spectating from the shadowy cracks under the bleachers cause although the material is engrossing, interacting with me is a general health hazard to your cognitive wellbeing. If you’re newer… well yeah no, nothing to add there.
You prooobably[?] have a notion of what’s been shared since over the summer as a way to reach pseudo-saint-level spiritual aloneness [No, not cause of corona, I’m less easy than that] and also to make use of the time that would’ve otherwise gone to wrapping a sci-fi sometimes-body-horror saga if humanity itself hadn’t gone full cronenberg. I faith-acted to lay a subjective life bare—sharing pains and extending expressions as a canvas for whoever could find any empathetic solace in. As the patterns have gone with every place and period, there are a handful of you to who I’m grateful from my remnant heart’s bottom.
Otherwise I know who I tend to be. And where I nullify this from being narcissistic, project if you relate. [I] know this as a nobody who’ll give without waiting to be labeled a somebody. [I] know this as someone who’ll give without compromise even if 13 people show up. [I] know this as someone who wants dare-to-be-differentness to be more than pretty words regurgitated by those who wanna sound open-minded so that they can really continue living in an echo chamber of smug complacency. I know this as a feeling-outlier, whether amongst vapid plebs or outliers.
People don’t mind witnessing you fail; then when you do actualize, they feel threatened. Unless you’re deemed worth sucking up to, then what you do muster the wheelbarrow balls to go for is to them a gif.-repeat-slap in the face cause you reached higher than only sharing when you’re down.
Now if you relate to where I’m coming from, then I am yet again reaching out as a would-be do-gooder vigilante who you may or may not be on a similar wavelength as at least value-wise and not mentally. Now if you’re offended by anything I wrote, then you straight up are the kind of person who’d rather drudge by as a smart-ass than try as an empath. But if you’re here, then you want a more empathetic world.
I joke I joke. Imnot quite datpsychotic.. . . .
I full-awareness know I can vernacularize like I’m constantly pseudo-rap battling, but if I don’t also always ultimately come back to a place of unequivocal humility / humanity, then I’m just another waste of the planet’s resources. You can be at the front of the existential-articulation brigade, but if you act clever only to vindictively reject others for trying to do something constructive and empowered with their experiences and burdens, then you’re the cream of the crap. You’re no different than before you were self-aware of your limitations; you merely wanna set the bar so low down to your height [doesn’t matter how tall you are] of secure cynicism.
You’re different if you go for something that hopes to better the world but will guarantee turn almost everyone off at least at first [if it sounds like a fant4stic idea, it’s not, it’s just elaborately safe]. You’re different if you’re an outsider even amongst outsiders. And no I’m not here acting holier-than-thou. I will never stroke myself and assume what I do is legit. I know for a fact though how much of a turn off I can be and it’s not a brag since being not white, not that sexy, and not famous can’t be successfully appropriated by hipsters/genZers, not the way I and my allies are doing it.
But I’m trying to articulate my wider hopes and dreams that’ll transcend me. As such my pains, admissions, and atonements are on full display—whether through writing, reverb-distortion, or performances with ridiculous outfits. If being a schizophrenic mosaic of moods and modes can be a subjective means of setting a compassion case, bring it bitch/bastard.
You can be opinionated without being arrogant.
You can be creative yet humble.
You can be self-aware and actually thoughtful.
You can be self-compassionate and not self-righteous.
You can want more for yourself but even more for the world you’re a part of.
It’s more than any which one of us being more. We can each Give more.
— Leung Kei / Terry, ambassador to Crescendo Angst Cinevision Limited
— For real we’re patented so if it’s ripped off we can sue and finally make back the budget
Aight for the first time in human history since 2020, something earlier than planned—
OPEN DOOM CRESCENDO premiere October 26, 8PM ET THIS IS IT STAY ALIVE UNTIL THEN AND THEN RESUME A WHOLESOME GENEROUS LIFE AFTER
WTFilm Festival, Canzine 2020
All screenings are free at Virtual Canzine, Oct. 24-26 at Canzine.ca.